Summary Execution List

[DimPrawn]

People who insist on taking 50 kilos of hand luggage on to planes and then take up all the luggage space for the whole row.

People who barge to the front of the queue to get on the bus to travel to said aircraft and then stand in the doorway meaning that everyone else has to squeeze past them. I presume this is so that they're first on the aircraft and so can jam their cases in the luggage space.

People who jump out of their seat as soon as plane wheels hit tarmac and start unloading baggage into other peoples laps before racing down the aisle to get off first.

People who think they're going to get an email on their f'ing blackberry at 60,000 ft and so subtly check it every five mins.

People who can't control the volume on their ipods.

People who jam the seat back as fast as they can without looking behind them first.

People who don't apologise when they smack a baby in the head with their seat causing it to cry for the next hour.

People who take babies on flights





I think that's about it at the mo.

People who fly cattle class for 50p and the whinge when it's utter tulip and full of cheapskate Chavs.

 

[Sysman]

Anyone who thinks its ok to drive around with their foglights on

a) when its not foggy or
b) in town/heavy traffic when everyone is only feet apart and have very likely seen each other already.

Gunshot, straight to the back of the head. No second chances.

Ditto for the gits who constantly flash you from behind when you do have them on and it's raining so hard that you can hardly see the guy in front of you on the motorway who has his turned off.

 

[Gros]

And it’s variant;

People who don't know the difference between it's and its.

People who don't know the difference between your and you're.

People who say that awful expression "Can I get" when they ask for something off a menu, or at a bar. It's "May I have". If you want to get it, let the waiter get it for you, it's what they're paid for.


(Unfortunately that includes just about everyone I know, hey ho )

 

[swamp]

Anyone who listens to music on the tube that others (especially myself) can hear.

Anyone who is large or fat who sits next to me on the tube and takes over the armrest by their sheer size.

Anyone who jumps in the lift on the tube (i.e. at Hampstead) when the woman's voice says "keep clear of the doors", resulting in the doors opening again and everyone having to wait until the doors slowly close themselves again (and hopefully yet another muppet doesn't jump as we once again hear "keep clear of the doors"...)

Anyone who, even momentarily, stands in the left-hand side of the escalator.

 

[Gros]

Anyone who listens to music on the tube that others (especially myself) can hear.

Anyone who is large or fat who sits next to me on the tube and takes over the armrest by their sheer size.

Anyone who jumps in the lift on the tube (i.e. at Hampstead) when the woman's voice says "keep clear of the doors", resulting in the doors opening again and everyone having to wait until the doors slowly close themselves again (and hopefully yet another muppet doesn't jump as we once again hear "keep clear of the doors"...)

Anyone who, even momentarily, stands in the left-hand side of the escalator.

Oh blimey, if you're going to start including people on the tube... what you said, plus:

- people who have an empty can in their hand, and sit there clicking the top
- people who tap their fingers (or their rings) on the metal poles to imaginary music
- people who try to get on before you get off (I just stand there in the middle of door, and wait until they get the message, or just push through them)
- people who stand in the doorway blocking it, even when they're not getting off
- not so much people eating, but people leaving their food waste for someone else to clean up
- people who talk too loudly


Yeah, I could go on.

 

[DimPrawn]

Ditto for the gits who constantly flash you from behind when you do have them on and it's raining so hard that you can hardly see the guy in front of you on the motorway who has his turned off.

So fog lights are for when it's raining?

Suggest you gets some glasses.

 

[Doggy Styles]

1. Cristiano Ronaldo
2. People who drive unnecessarily slowly (e.g. 30mph in a national speed limit zone like that idiot in the Merco this morning)
3. John Prescott (although watch out, if you shoot him he'll burst all over the place like Mr Creosote)
4. Ed Balls
5. In fact all Labour politicians
6. And some Tory ones

But not Gordon Brown. I'd imprison him. And every day for the rest of his fat, smelly, bogey-chomping life, I'd send a continuous stream of different people in to tell him what an incompetent halfwit everybody thinks he is, and how he has done more damage to the country than half a million Nazis managed in world war two.

 

[PRC1964]

People (women) at checkouts who aren't ready to pay the moment the last item has been scanned and spend five minutes rumaging through their handbags for their purse.

People who take more than thirty seconds at the cashpoint.

People who just stop for no reason in the middle of the pavement.

 

[Sysman]

People who pull out from a side junction and then make no effort to accelerate causing me to slow down.

People who drive at 30mph for the entire length of motorway slip road and then only speed up once they pull onto the it.

Both are fatal if you drive an old Land Rover. For case a), a Land Rover might be doing wel more than 20 miles an hour and they really don't stop that quickly. For case b), acceleration isn't very hot.

And then the same prats think they have the right to ask you for assistance when they get stuck in the snow.

 

[Sysman]

So fog lights are for when it's raining?

Suggest you gets some glasses.

Yes, when the visibility is down to just a few yards as in a real fog.