Indian Programmers

[Doggy Styles]

Here is a genuine extract from a CV my colleague received, applying for a job as a technical author.

"JOB OBJECTIVE
To judiciously use the dynamism of my potentials and creativity in the pursuit of the company goals and embracing challenges, leading to self improvement and realization of set goals at the earliest possible time."

I wonder how he/she would write a procedure for operating a bit of machinery.

 

[Mich the Tester]

Here is a genuine extract from a CV my colleague received, applying for a job as a technical author.

"JOB OBJECTIVE
To judiciously use the dynamism of my potentials and creativity in the pursuit of the company goals and embracing challenges, leading to self improvement and realization of set goals at the earliest possible time."

I wonder how he/she would write a procedure for operating a bit of machinery.

I think he writes the PIDs around here.

 

[darmstadt]

I remember a time I was working for a sports car manufacturer building a DR system for them. They put me in a cellar as it was next to the machine room where I had to be most of the time (plus it was about 150m from the test track so all day long I could hear vroom vroom as well.) Anyway, after a few weeks down there with a nutty German who used to pop in occasionally as it was his office/workshop as well, I was joined by 3 chaps from India who sat kind of opposite from me but never talked to me. Apparently they were working on some software called Remedy application and all 3 of them used to sit huddled up next to each other around a laptop talking to each other in English but never said a word to me. A lot of the time was spent on the phone to some people elsewhere and the conversation used to be in the region of 'what do I type in here?' and 'how do I do that?' You get the drift, it probably would have been easier for them to just say 'look we haven't got a clue, get us out of here.' One day, when leaving the cellar, I wished them a good evening and hoped that they were having a pleasant time and if they had any problems then to just ask me, all in the Queens English of course. The next day the volume dropped considerably, the amount of calls went down and the faces looked more and more panicked. A couple of weeks later the project was cancelled. Apparently they had already been there 5 months trying to get Remedy working and the car maker was not too impressed with outsourcing work (except to me!)

 

[Spacecadet]

I remember a time I was working for a sports car manufacturer building a DR system for them. They put me in a cellar as it was next to the machine room where I had to be most of the time (plus it was about 150m from the test track so all day long I could hear vroom vroom as well.) Anyway, after a few weeks down there with a nutty German who used to pop in occasionally as it was his office/workshop as well, I was joined by 3 chaps from India who sat kind of opposite from me but never talked to me. Apparently they were working on some software called Remedy application and all 3 of them used to sit huddled up next to each other around a laptop talking to each other in English but never said a word to me. A lot of the time was spent on the phone to some people elsewhere and the conversation used to be in the region of 'what do I type in here?' and 'how do I do that?' You get the drift, it probably would have been easier for them to just say 'look we haven't got a clue, get us out of here.' One day, when leaving the cellar, I wished them a good evening and hoped that they were having a pleasant time and if they had any problems then to just ask me, all in the Queens English of course. The next day the volume dropped considerably, the amount of calls went down and the faces looked more and more panicked. A couple of weeks later the project was cancelled. Apparently they had already been there 5 months trying to get Remedy working and the car maker was not too impressed with outsourcing work (except to me!)

line


breaks

but still a funny little story

 

[expat]

Contractor: 1 guy who knows what he is doing.
Software vendor: 1 guy who knows what he is doing, plus 4 who don't but are learning on client time.
Outsourcing: unlimited number of people who don't know what they are doing, but are supposed to be cheap.

 

[Bagpuss]

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results

Or was that Management?

 

[Spacecadet]

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results

Or was that Management?

Sanity: doing the same thing over and over again and getting different results

 

[expat]

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results

Or was that Management?

That was Threaded.

 

[Bagpuss]

I think Threaded was Lucy

 

[Churchill]

I think Threaded was Lucy

Oh FFS, the image of Threaded dressed in "his" best Lingerie, driving to meet you for an all night session! Christ on a f**king bike!!!!