Software Development Lifecycle

[Mich the Tester]

I just keep billing.

whs

[PAH]

"Don't piss down my back and tell me it's a waterfall" - The Outsourced Josie Whale

"What we've got here is a perpetual waterfall" - Cool Hand Bob


Some remakes are worth watching.

[Freamon]

PM - Let's review JIRA 369. MF this is with you.

MF - I failed it last week and the developer says that it is no longer on his priority list as he says he's done the fix. Of course it's a five minute change and of course if the same issue happens again in production the whole datawarehouse load will fail and we're fecked.

Developer - What are my prioritites please?

FFS!!!!

Problems highlighted above.

[MarillionFan]

Problems highlighted above.

???

I'm the tester. Not the developer.

[russell]

Suity you must be an expert in waterfall, especially when the water is piss falling below you?

[TestMangler]

???

I'm the tester. Not the developer.

The defect is with you, the developer says he's fixed it.

Is the grenade not in your hand for retest ?

If not, that's what the quote makes it look like

[MarillionFan]

The defect is with you, the developer says he's fixed it.

Is the grenade not in your hand for retest ?

If not, that's what the quote makes it look like

No, the JIRA says 'Failed' and is assigned to the developer, but as BA I hold the JIRA.

It's interesting. I'm not really used to working in 'IT' as such. For years I have always sat on the outside of IT departments bought in by the business as 'shadow IT' because these feckers can't deliver. Now I'm sat on the other side of the fence. I engage directly with internal clients and I have control over the projects I deliver, but not always the resource. As soon as it goes to a shared resource model it doesn't work.

There is something intrinsically f**ked with social makeup of people who work in IT that makes them hide behind emails & computers and just don't do the job. And that's why they get outsourced, because they are ******* hopeless at communicating or managing themselves. Hence go with the cheapest.

[TestMangler]

No, the JIRA says 'Failed' and is assigned to the developer, but as BA I hold the JIRA.

It's interesting. I'm not really used to working in 'IT' as such. For years I have always sat on the outside of IT departments bought in by the business as 'shadow IT' because these feckers can't deliver. Now I'm sat on the other side of the fence. I engage directly with internal clients and I have control over the projects I deliver, but not always the resource. As soon as it goes to a shared resource model it doesn't work.

There is something intrinsically f**ked with social makeup of people who work in IT that makes them hide behind emails & computers and just don't do the job. And that's why they get outsourced, because they are ******* hopeless at communicating or managing themselves. Hence go with the cheapest.

I have jumped out of Test Management now because I couldn't stand working with remote or outsourced teams. I never did traditional 'management' stuff with presentations and bulltulip. I could usually be found prowling the office with a phone in one hand and a pack of fags in the other

It's a lot harder to duck responsibility and play 'asignee tennis' in QC when you've got some mad nicotine deprived jock sitting on your desk

Resources should be within grabbing distance

[Freamon]

No, the JIRA says 'Failed' and is assigned to the developer, but as BA I hold the JIRA.

This'll be why the PM says the ticket is "with you" then. You should have been clearer when you corrected him.

[doodab]

No, the JIRA says 'Failed' and is assigned to the developer, but as BA I hold the JIRA.

It's interesting. I'm not really used to working in 'IT' as such. For years I have always sat on the outside of IT departments bought in by the business as 'shadow IT' because these feckers can't deliver. Now I'm sat on the other side of the fence. I engage directly with internal clients and I have control over the projects I deliver, but not always the resource. As soon as it goes to a shared resource model it doesn't work.

There is something intrinsically f**ked with social makeup of people who work in IT that makes them hide behind emails & computers and just don't do the job. And that's why they get outsourced, because they are ******* hopeless at communicating or managing themselves. Hence go with the cheapest.

You've clearly never worked for a happy company with motivated people.