• Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Rate increase tips

Dear Agent,

Do you think it important to cut Co2?
Would you want to help prevent global warming?
Is it important for all of us to care about the environment?


You can do something, you can offset the Co2 emissions from a contractor by paying a nominal amount of £30 per day…
 
These types of businesses are quite fun. Don't expect to make a fortune from them but you can make a living for a normal person. As a contractor you think to yourself 'What a cock' as you smile as some moaning customer as they complain over some £3 purchase 'I could ******* buy you!'.

Numbers dont stack up.

Any time we got pain in the arse customers, my Mrs (who has the patience of a fecking saint) could be heard chatting/reasoning/winning them over. Then a voice would boom out from the kitchen along the lines of "Tell the **** to **** off and take his ****ing £2 and ram it up his ****ing ****"

As I said, I'm not a people person :happy

I'm sure I'll miss it at times. Do you miss yer tat shop or glad to be rid ? (Or, I suspect, a bit of both)
 
Dear Agent,

Do you think it important to cut Co2?
Would you want to help prevent global warming?
Is it important for all of us to care about the environment?


You can do something, you can offset the Co2 emissions from a contractor by paying a nominal amount of £30 per day…

Brilliant! Especially seeing as my agent has issued a 'sustainability and corporate responsibility statement'.
 
Dear agent,

in your request to explain a requested rate rise; things are expensive and it's not fair I have to spend so much on petrol for the same money. Also, the client canteen stopped giving cheap prices to contractors.

Love,
SpaceCadet.



The sad thing is, to many this would be a fair reason
 
Any time we got pain in the arse customers, my Mrs (who has the patience of a fecking saint) could be heard chatting/reasoning/winning them over.
)


But what will your wife now do? I bet within 6 months she will be bored and want to open another business.
 
But what will your wife now do? I bet within 6 months she will be bored and want to open another business.


Ha. She didn't want to do the cafe thing in the first place. And she's now crying about selling it.

Her background is in Social Work, early education etc The mad lefty cow :tongue
 
Please forward the relevant paperwork and also take note of the fact that Agency's continued business relationship with both Spacecadet Ltd and Client Co relies on you not completely f**king this up.

Chin Chin

SpaceCadet (Managing Director).


Note to Cojak - f**king, in this case, is being used as a substitute for 'forking', so please hold back on you usual 'non specific' infraction notice.

:rollin:
 

Advertisers

Back
Top