Cats

[MaryPoppins]

You may recall:

Link



I went to agricultural college once upon a time to study dairy technology.

Am refreshed, thank you. Aren't you meant to have moved out by now? Did you start enjoying the pawing, in the end?

[Mich the Tester]

To market, to market to buy a fat cow,
To milk it to milk it, he didn't know how
He pulled on her tail instead of her tit,
And all that he got was a bucket of tulip...

[wurzel]

Am refreshed, thank you. Aren't you meant to have moved out by now? Did you start enjoying the pawing, in the end?

I've developed my own little routine where our paths don't cross that much. Besides, it's cheaper than all the alternatives. Only 1 month to go!

[minestrone]

I've been staying with a woman who keeps 8 cats for the past few months. Now she's gone on holiday & I stupidly agreed to look after them while she's away. This involves:

1) Cleaning out their litter trays (which are kept in the kitchen) everyday. I'm not a neurotic type - I've looked after many dogs & have even had my arm up the back end of a few cows in my time but this task really makes me gag.

2) Feeding them - cat food is surely the most noxious substance known to man which probably explains the above.

3) Just putting up with them - seriously, they give me the willies. They all sit in diferent corners of the room preening themselves & hissing when another gets within 10 feet. Then the little bastards keep me up by yowling for half the night. How anyone ever draws any comfort from these animals is beyond me.

Well, after 2 days I've had enough & I think it's about time they learnt how cats are supposed to live. Outside. So, come bedtime I'll be booting 'em all out and blocking off the catflap. Don't worry, I'm not completely heartless - if it's raining I can make use of a very capacious wheelie bin on the drive

They sound quite like teams of contractors I have worked with.

[MaryPoppins]

I've developed my own little routine where our paths don't cross that much. Besides, it's cheaper than all the alternatives. Only 1 month to go!

They must trust you enough if you're in charge of the 8 cats. Blimey though.

If you're bored of an evening, buy a laser pen to occupy them.

[Mich the Tester]

If you're bored of an evening, buy a laser pen to occupy them.

gerbil

[MaryPoppins]

gerbil

I used to have gerbils when I was young.

One of them bit my little sister's hand; my Mum smashed the hand with the gerbil attached against the wall.

One dead gerbil, and one fractured wrist.

[Peoplesoft bloke]

All cats are vermin.

[Mich the Tester]

All cats are vermin.

Weak trolling attempt.

[MaryPoppins]

Weak trolling attempt.

I don't think he was trolling.