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I've got manflu...

Chef's solution for the early symptoms of man-flu.

A VERY hot curry or chilli to get the body shocked a little and you'll blow all that snot out or elseit comes out the other end
A nice bottle of bourbon (or other preferrred spirit) while having a relaxing evening in front of the tv
Sleep, ensuring man size kleenex are at nearby disposal (as if they wouldn't be already ;) )

if on day 2 you still feel the symptoms then:
blast your body with Beechams Max Cold & Flu pain relief at required dosage to the minute,
eat lots of veg,
drink lots of juice
make yourself Spag Bol (or whatever comfort food you enjoy)
2nd early nights sleep

if by day 3 you are still feeling ill, your going to die so start preparing for the worst and tell the missus
 
Poorly or not I could still kick your f**king head in, just f**king watch it! <----- See? I'm getting bad tempered now.:sick

getting? That indicates that at some point you weren't in a bad mood :eyes

I suggest. A BBW doing a close up ass dance in front of you, naked, with her backside covered in tiger balm. That should clear your nasals!
 
getting? That indicates that at some point you weren't in a bad mood :eyes

I suggest. A BBW doing a close up ass dance in front of you, naked, with her backside covered in tiger balm. That should clear your nasals!

That would certainly enable me to sing soprano...

CM would cut my balls off!
 

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