I'd rather...

[Mich the Tester]

Inspired by another poster who said "I'd rather tear out my eye balls and lubricate them with chilli paste" when it was suggested he read a rather crap book I'm looking for new ways of telling people I'd prefer to be doing something else, perhaps just thinking of Lady Tester's younger brother who's invited me to his stag night.

Personally I thought of this one; "I'd rather spend a wet tuesday morning on Blackpool beach drinking lukewarm Special Brew with Pol Pot and the Reverend Ian Paisley", but the young blighter's not really smart enough to know who Ian Paisley and Pol Pot are, and couldn't even read the label on a can of lager.

Any other inspiring suggestions?

 

[EternalOptimist]

Go to a stag do with you ??

I'd rather crawl on my hands and knees through broken glass all the way to Downing street and flick garden peas into One of Gordon Browns turds

 

[Mich the Tester]

Go to a stag do with you ??

I'd rather crawl on my hands and knees through broken glass all the way to Downing street and flick garden peas into One of Gordon Browns turds

Rejected. The man's not worldly enough to know who Gordon is or what makes Downing Street different to any other street.

 

[oracleslave]

I use this a lot

I'd rather gouge chunks of my own head off with a rusty snail fork.

 

[Mich the Tester]

I use this a lot

Good candidate, but I can’t assume he knows what a ‘snail fork’ is. Might work with some minor adjustments.

 

[Drewster]

I would rather put my head between Jordans breasts and go flubber flubber flubber..........

Am I getting the hang of this!?

 

[oracleslave]

Good candidate, but I can’t assume he knows what a ‘snail fork’ is. Might work with some minor adjustments.

Any of these work?

http://forums.contractoruk.com/general/34961-what-would-you-rather-do.html

 

[Moscow Mule]

I would rather cut my nuts off with a spoon.

 

[EternalOptimist]

Rejected. The man's not worldly enough to know who Gordon is or what makes Downing Street different to any other street.

mmm , tough challenge this.

Go to a stag do with you ???

I'd rather drink a pint of Jeremy Kyles sick and eat a cracker thats spread with Simon Cowells kn0b-cheese and a rancid pickle thats spent a week up Susan Boyles f@nny

 

[stingman123]

I'd rather work for the NHS....




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