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I'd rather...

mmm , tough challenge this.

Go to a stag do with you ???

I'd rather drink a pint of Jeremy Kyles sick and eat a cracker thats spread with Simon Cowells kn0b-cheese and a rancid pickle thats spent a week up Susan Boyles f@nny
Excellent, but he's Dutch, so I'll have to adapt the names.
 
I'd rather boil my head in a vat of acid
 
OK how about this one

"......have a threesome with Ant & Dec"

any good?
 
I's rather drill holes in my feet with a rusty hand drill
 
I'd rather calculate the national debt using roman numerals

But as he's dutch: I'd rather shove a windmill up my arse
 

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