Tortoise...

[Doggy Styles]

knock down ginger ?

how do you play that ?

Knock on the door and run away. Snails haven't got actual doors in their little mobile houses, so you just tap on the shell instead.

[EternalOptimist]

Knock on the door and run away. Snails haven't got actual doors in their little mobile houses, so you just tap on the shell instead.

ok. sounds fun. have you ever been caught though ?

[Dante]

Back on topic if you don't mind lads.

Top tip:

If you crack them open with a toffee hammer, they look like an old mans hand.

[Doggy Styles]

ok. sounds fun. have you ever been caught though ?

Not by the snails, no.

In my schooldays my mate Mackey was caught. The bloke bundled him into a car and drove him away. He took him up a deserted road, gave him a slap and let him go. These days kids would get the geezer banged up, but in those days it was a fair cop.

[BrowneIssue]

Back on topic if you don't mind lads.

I'm surprised they haven't renamed the Topic like they did the Marathon.

[Doggy Styles]

Back on topic if you don't mind lads.

Top tip:

If you crack them open with a toffee hammer, they look like an old mans hand.

A bit scrotumy?

[Doggy Styles]

If you crack them open with a toffee hammer, they look like an old mans hand.

Actually they're a bit lizardy. Are they lizards?