I got this problem

[lilelvis2000]

Do you mean .45 cal? As in a pistol. 45mm would be a ******* cannon.

yes. sorry. But I'm sure a 45mm would also do the job.

 

[alreadypacked]

A friend of mine (I use the term loosly)
Calls himself a mate - he's a complete geeky prat.

Advice please

EO the gods are smiling on you, 5* already!

 

[XTC]

What are scrupes?

They're a band you idiot.

 

[Ardesco]

A friend of mine (I use the term loosly) has become a bit weird lately and I need some advice on how to deal with the problem.
First off he came up to Leeds to my 30th without being invited, sh@gged the local transvestite then starts banging on about 'norvern wimmin' having no scrupes.
He goes on and on about how hard he works answering the phone for 14 hours a day then says he gets to answer the phone because of his determination, 'its nothing to do with luck'.
What a toss pot.
Next he starts to organise a 'boys holiday' even though I told him my missus wouldnt be happy. He went ahead anyway, coming out with sh1te like 'she'll understand', 'she's only a bird', 'She'll be gone in a few months when your bonus is all spent'

Calls himself a mate - he's a complete geeky prat.

Advice please

ROFL, nice work EO

 

[Swiss Tony]

Devious Weekend Away

Devious Weekend Away

Organise a great weekend away will all yer mates , this twit included. Dress it up with all the bells and whistles , make him salivate at the thought of this event.

Make it no where near you, preferably in the middle of no-where. Have some ‘adult’ scavenger hunt meaning no one can arrive together. Clues to be provided in envelope he is to open on the day he is setting off, all that jazz.

And on your part, make sure that you and your proper mates are not there. He should figure it out when he turns up to an empty station and none of you are answering your phones.

 

[wendigo100]

... sh@gged the local transvestite ...

I'm intrigued - how did that work? Poo-pipe?

 

[alreadypacked]

I'm intrigued - how did that work? Poo-pipe?

wendigo, I'm surprised and you a Masonic!

 

[wendigo100]

wendigo, I'm surprised and you a Masonic!

A masonic? No, that's my ex-next-door neighbour. I'm a nun.

But I've attended a few Round Table events.

 

[wendigo100]

wendigo, I'm surprised and you a Masonic!

Are you from Dublin, London or Goa?

If you don't mind me asking, that is.

 

[alreadypacked]

A masonic? No, that's my ex-next-door neighbour. I'm a nun.

But I've attended a few Round Table events.

A nun, that explains a lot.