Looks like you're using some sort of non approved hand held device. CONFISCATED. (and Ebayed,

)
And to answer your point, whenever we do meet up, it's usually dull, because it's winter. Do you really think I'd waste a nice summer's evening meeting up with, and I quote "a total and utter chunt"? The words of your peers, not mine own, honest...
Besides, last time you lost the toss and should have got the chubby lass.