Now I've seen everything!

[Churchill]

Dear Churchill,


Greetings from www.xxx90xxxxxx.co.uk

It gives me immense pleasure to introduce you to one of the Best Umbrella Company in United Kingdom.



XXX90XXXXXXX.co.uk is one of the best Umbrella Company of UK. We are completely committed to our customers and have set enviable standards in the industry. We don’t make false promises neither do we have an intention to mesmerize you with science. We want to make your life easier and pleasant as a contractor. We adhere to all the HMRC regulations and thus have higher standards of services. If you want make your work life flexible and lucrative, we can help you out.



We are regarded as one of the best Umbrella Companies of the country because of our efficient services. We charge an extremely low weekly fee for the payment processing. Thus you get up to 90% of your money in hand. Being an Umbrella company we are aware of the fact that your payment is dependent on us. So, we process the invoices very fast and as soon as we receive the time sheets and get your money in your account on the same day.



No other Umbrella services are so adept at handling payments at such a fast pace. We process your money through PAYE system that ensures protection from future tax liabilities. And you are also secured as an employee by our company insurance of 20 million pounds. We are the best medium of contracting. You just have to choose your assignment and then we will take care of all your taxes and invoices. We charge you only when you are working and that’s why we are the best. Get in touch with us to know more about our services and the benefits.



Why Only XXX90XXXXXXX:-



· We are the ONLY paying up to 90% !

· We are the ONLY company pay you in Advance !

· We are the ONLY umbrella company pay you Max !

· We are the ONLY company makes you happy !


Regards


Bob


Business Development Consultant

Names and URLs changed to prevent free publicity.

 

[Spacecadet]

XXX90XXXXXXX has given me an excellent experience which is really a pleasure to be a part of. A very much straightforward and a flexible payroll system, with highly qualified accountants with great experience providing tremendous support and guidance in managing my taxes & accounts. They have considerably increased my savings level in few months...”

- Neeraj

Consultant, TGC

ROFL

 

[cojak]

Now wait for the PMs from the naive and greedy asking if you could give them the details of the Magical 90 Beans Umbrella company...

 

[DodgyAgent]

I am on a similar scheme. So do not knock it - all to do with the complex area of loans and trusts.

 

[Churchill]

I am on a similar scheme. So do not knock it - all to do with the complex area of loans and trusts.

Yeah but Dodgy, 90% of **** all is still **** all!

 

[MarillionFan]

Not as good as my 120% takehome.

 

[Spacecadet]

Not as good as my 120% takehome.

Not paying your VAT again?

 

[DodgyAgent]

Not paying your VAT again?

He is clearly not paying his agent his due

 

[BrilloPad]

He is clearly not paying his agent his due

His agent is due f**k all and that is what the agent is getting.

HTH

 

[chef]

I think it's all above board, they pay you 90% of what you're due i.e they take 10% as a fee and then they take care of your taxes etc. They don't say they pay your taxes for you, simply take care of them and "charge you only when you're working."

I will setup up a xxx95xxxxxxx.co.uk website offering exactly the same except I take 5% of what they're due and then get a qualified accountant to do the rest