Coding profanities

[Spacecadet]

ok - so who hasn't written comments in anger?

the register

[hyperD]

I named a function once:

fnDontKeepDoubleClickingTheFuckingButtonYouDoofus()

out of frustration.

[Spacecadet]

i think i've referred to a few PEBKAC errors before, no bad languauge per se though. Maybe i should start...

[xoggoth]

It's very strange but I find if you have spent ages getting a function/query etc. to work then just rename it kunt or @rse or something it's sorted in no time. Then you can rename it back without the fault reappearing.

[zathras]

Having come from a support background I can well understand the sentiment expressed in one of those comments.

[darmstadt]

I wrote a massive COBOL application once which really pissed me off as they kept changing the specs (took 2 years to do in the end and was originally only a 6 month project.) I used:

BMB - Bugger Me Backwards
BOS - Bag Of tulip
BOA - Bunch Of Arse

as variables. When we handed the thing over they questioned the meaning of the variables and I came out with something like they were special MVS register variables. Some of the code was a bit strange so we called it POO - psuedo object orientated

[martinb]

Years ago when working on PDP11's a bright spark in my office created a file of "error messages" to replace the normal "Syntax Error" you'd get when you made a typo on the command line.

There were 60 messages, and the message displayed was dependant on how many seconds past the minute the current time was.

Needless to say, when a very attractive female client was visiting, what message should appear?

"Sit on my face and tell me that you love me".

[OrangeHopper]

PDP11 and 6 characters for function names.

Working on the scheduler/executive and only 3 characters available since need three to actually describe the purpose of the function.

SEX.

[cojak]

Worked at one place where an aspberger programmer insisted on variables like ROAST-BEEF and CARROTS.

Needless to say only he could debug the code.

I would have fired the tosser...

[TheMonkey]

Don't insult the programmer, insult the user - much more exciting. This was always a killer (back in about '88):

5 *KEY0 RUN
10 CLS
20 PRINT "Acorn MOS"
20 PRINT
30 PRINT "BBC BASIC 32K"
40 PRINT
50 PRINT "> ";
60 A$ = INPUT$
70 PRINT "FU CK OFF USELESS SH1T WIPE"
80 GOTO 40
RUN