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Kebabs

DimPrawn

Richer than sasguru
Thanks received
1,182
I'm very underweight, wirey, sinuey and toned.

I'm looking to go on the kebab diet. Do yous think such a crash weight gain diet is such a good idea like?

I suppose I'll have to give up lettuce and going to the gym too?

:(

Any advice welcome bag-o-pus.
 
I suggest you start smoking to aid your weight gain. Although this may lead to a slight loss in appetite within the short term, it is a very important part of your new lifestyle.

It will help you fight the urge to go to the gym and will provide a distraction when you're sat around your bedsit in your pants.

Also, since you will be making huge savings by buying 'family size' packs of food and taking advantage of the dominoes 2 for 1 offers dispite being single and living alone. I suggest you upgrade your SKY package, again to help combat the urge to go out side and 'exercise'.

Some people try putting a photo of the 'old' them on the fridge door. For me this a halfhearted attempt. I recommend you remove the fridge door completely to save time when accessing the stella.

Finally some people swear by these food shakes. In order to fully maximise their effect I would recommend ordering vanilla with your KFC bucket


HTH
 
Real shish kebabs won’t make you fat, I suggest you try the elephant foot shavings popular with drunks.

Even then it’s probably more to do with the 12 pints consumed beforehand.
 
Kebabs are ok, doubt you'll get much heavier sticking purely to those unless you have chips with it every time.

I'd try eating lots of starchy carbs (potatoes, rice, bread, pasta etc).

Combine this with sugar treats (chocolate & fizzy drinks) and you'll gain weight quicker. Pizzas and beer help too! Yummy!

It takes a long period of time to put on weight, but stick to that diet for a couple of years and you'll be a bloater!
 

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