• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Reply to: How to get a shag

Collapse

You are not logged in or you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:

  • You are not logged in. If you are already registered, fill in the form below to log in, or follow the "Sign Up" link to register a new account.
  • You may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
  • If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.

Previously on "How to get a shag"

Collapse

  • SimonMac
    replied
    Originally posted by mudskipper View Post
    Most people aren't shagging as much as you think they are.
    Those who don't talk springs to mind

    Leave a comment:


  • original PM
    replied
    so did any of you try the options on here?

    any joy?

    Leave a comment:


  • socialworker
    replied
    Originally posted by Cliphead View Post
    In my experience of course...

    Play;

    Spanish guitar
    Hyperspeed tenor banjo
    Bluegrass mandolin (marginal)
    Whatever current smoochie hit on guitar

    ........

    Bulgari Aqua
    Chanel Anteus
    Write her a tune
    Have it performed by a major orchestra
    Find it quickly and well...

    Cook
    Wash up
    Pay for everything
    Loads more

    Add yer own...
    slide geetar always did it for me, and dobro.

    Leave a comment:


  • MaryPoppins
    replied
    Originally posted by TykeMerc View Post


    Maybe learn English 1st if after English girls, mind you with your txtspk generation using the right words probably is a turnoff, innit?
    Definitely NOT.

    Innit.

    Leave a comment:


  • petergriffin
    replied
    For a rough shag, roll your own cig:

    Leave a comment:


  • RetSet
    replied
    Learn to dance.

    Properly.

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    "Light relief" seems appropriate.

    Leave a comment:


  • mudskipper
    replied
    Most people aren't shagging as much as you think they are.

    Leave a comment:


  • MarillionFan
    replied
    How to get a shag

    With a hood and a small lassoo on Orkney by the looks of it.

    Leave a comment:


  • mudskipper
    replied
    Originally posted by MyUserName View Post
    Wrong thread, being a pedant belongs in the 'how not to get a shag' one.

    Leave a comment:


  • MyUserName
    replied
    Originally posted by TykeMerc View Post
    No news there. It's a fair cop Guv' (innit).
    Wrong thread, being a pedant belongs in the 'how not to get a shag' one.

    Leave a comment:


  • bless 'em all
    replied
    Originally posted by KentPhilip View Post
    Be me
    Fire your cleaner.

    Or get married.

    Leave a comment:


  • TykeMerc
    replied
    Originally posted by Jeff Maginty
    Pedant alert!

    We got ourselves a pedant here people!

    Watch out!
    No news there. It's a fair cop Guv' (innit).

    Leave a comment:


  • TykeMerc
    replied
    Originally posted by MyUserName View Post
    Where a full suit of polished plate armour
    Win medieval combat tournaments

    If you want women throwing themselves at you in groups - win jousting tournaments.



    Maybe learn English 1st if after English girls, mind you with your txtspk generation using the right words probably is a turnoff, innit?

    Leave a comment:


  • KentPhilip
    replied
    Be me

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X