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Previously on "Banking and some other nonsense"

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  • suityou01
    replied
    Originally posted by Rapscallion View Post
    Also, welcome.

    You need to fill out the CUK questionnaire.

    Q1) Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
    A1) Not yet, but theres still time!
    Q2) Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
    A2) Yep, and have also learned the skill of not glancing
    Q3) Do you like films about gladiators?
    A3) Hairy ones?
    Q4) Do you own your own copy of the film "Glad he ate her"
    A4) Just watch it on pornhub when i feel the urge
    Q5) Have you bled your radiators recently?
    A5) They bleed?
    Q6) Have you ever licked the chutney spoon and put it back?
    A6) Only after smothering it with cheese
    Q7) Have you ever tried polishing the Ninja?
    A7) An essential life skill
    Q8) Do you read the daily mail?
    A8) While on the bog in my old mans house.
    Q9) What is the value of your house?
    A9) Going up almost a pound a week!
    Q10) How do you feel about giant alien lizards?
    A10) I feel surrounded by them after my first foray into the forum...
    We can work with this. Your social group is Bedwetters. You need standard issue size 5 huggies pullups and some marmite and snot smeared on your top lip.

    You are now my bitch and answer to me.

    HTH

    Leave a comment:


  • Scruff
    replied
    Originally posted by Rapscallion View Post
    Also, welcome.

    You need to fill out the CUK questionnaire.

    Q1) Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
    A1) Not yet, but theres still time!
    Q2) Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
    A2) Yep, and have also learned the skill of not glancing
    Q3) Do you like films about gladiators?
    A3) Hairy ones?
    Q4) Do you own your own copy of the film "Glad he ate her"
    A4) Just watch it on pornhub when i feel the urge
    Q5) Have you bled your radiators recently?
    A5) They bleed?
    Q6) Have you ever licked the chutney spoon and put it back?
    A6) Only after smothering it with cheese
    Q7) Have you ever tried polishing the Ninja?
    A7) An essential life skill
    Q8) Do you read the daily mail?
    A8) While on the bog in my old mans house.
    Q9) What is the value of your house?
    A9) Going up almost a pound a week!
    Q10) How do you feel about giant alien lizards?
    A10) I feel surrounded by them after my first foray into the forum...
    You'll fit in here perfectly....once you have read the links on the right.

    HSBC will open a business banking account, but you will need your Ltd Co. incorporation certificate (and VAT registration certificate). They should also ask you for your UK Passport. Free banking for 18 months, though this has been known to change to 12 months, at random.

    Cater Allen - not what they used to be.

    Leave a comment:


  • northernladuk
    replied
    Originally posted by Rapscallion View Post
    WHat are the dangers of Ltd? All the advice i have read here point to ltd as being the way to go.
    The danger is you will have to think a little bit....

    Q3) Do you like films about gladiators?
    A3) Hairy ones?

    Q5) Have you bled your radiators recently?
    A5) They bleed?

    Q6) Have you ever licked the chutney spoon and put it back?
    A6) Only after smothering it with cheese

    Q8) Do you read the daily mail?
    A8) While on the bog in my old mans house.
    .
    This one is certainly not cut out to be a contractor.
    Last edited by northernladuk; 27 February 2014, 16:58.

    Leave a comment:


  • Rapscallion
    replied
    Also, welcome.

    You need to fill out the CUK questionnaire.

    Q1) Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
    A1) Not yet, but theres still time!
    Q2) Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
    A2) Yep, and have also learned the skill of not glancing
    Q3) Do you like films about gladiators?
    A3) Hairy ones?
    Q4) Do you own your own copy of the film "Glad he ate her"
    A4) Just watch it on pornhub when i feel the urge
    Q5) Have you bled your radiators recently?
    A5) They bleed?
    Q6) Have you ever licked the chutney spoon and put it back?
    A6) Only after smothering it with cheese
    Q7) Have you ever tried polishing the Ninja?
    A7) An essential life skill
    Q8) Do you read the daily mail?
    A8) While on the bog in my old mans house.
    Q9) What is the value of your house?
    A9) Going up almost a pound a week!
    Q10) How do you feel about giant alien lizards?
    A10) I feel surrounded by them after my first foray into the forum...

    Leave a comment:


  • suityou01
    replied
    Also, welcome.

    You need to fill out the CUK questionnaire.

    Q1) Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
    A1)
    Q2) Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
    A2)
    Q3) Do you like films about gladiators?
    A3)
    Q4) Do you own your own copy of the film "Glad he ate her"
    A4)
    Q5) Have you bled your radiators recently?
    A5)
    Q6) Have you ever licked the chutney spoon and put it back?
    A6)
    Q7) Have you ever tried polishing the Ninja?
    A7)
    Q8) Do you read the daily mail?
    A8)
    Q9) What is the value of your house?
    A9)
    Q10) How do you feel about giant alien lizards?
    A10)

    Also please provide 2 references.

    TIA

    The CUK mob

    Leave a comment:


  • oracleslave
    replied
    Originally posted by Rapscallion View Post
    WHat are the dangers of Ltd? All the advice i have read here point to ltd as being the way to go.
    The danger is not in operating a Ltd company per se. The danger is you not knowing and researching what this entails and fully understanding your obligations in doing so.

    Leave a comment:


  • suityou01
    replied
    Originally posted by Rapscallion View Post
    WHat are the dangers of Ltd? All the advice i have read here point to ltd as being the way to go.
    Less than the dangers of a brolly. That said, you need to read up on IR35. Also highly recommended to get your contract vetted by someone like QDos for IR35 status.

    As for your first week, I think if you want a harmonious relationship going forward I would swallow that down.

    Leave a comment:


  • Rapscallion
    replied
    Originally posted by oscarose View Post
    I'd stick with the umbrella - safe mode
    WHat are the dangers of Ltd? All the advice i have read here point to ltd as being the way to go.

    Leave a comment:


  • OwlHoot
    replied
    Originally posted by DirtyDog View Post
    Santander, HSBC, Cater Allen. ...
    WHS for Cater Allen (who I think are part of Santander)

    Not so sure about HSBC

    Leave a comment:


  • Rapscallion
    replied
    Originally posted by MyUserName View Post
    Ah, that shines a very different light on things. So, is the new contract one which was started with the brolly?
    Yes, when i was offered the job the agency asked if i was ltd or umbrella. I gave my umbrella company details, saying that i will be moving to a ltd once all is set up, which i am in the process of doing.

    Leave a comment:


  • oscarose
    replied
    Originally posted by Rapscallion View Post
    Perhaps i should get my coat...

    The contract is between my previous umbrella company and the end client. I no longer wish to use an umbrella company so am setting up a ltd company.
    I'd stick with the umbrella - safe mode

    Leave a comment:


  • MyUserName
    replied
    Originally posted by Rapscallion View Post
    Perhaps i should get my coat...

    The contract is between my previous umbrella company and the end client. I no longer wish to use an umbrella company so am setting up a ltd company.
    Ah, that shines a very different light on things. So, is the new contract one which was started with the brolly?

    Leave a comment:


  • Rapscallion
    replied
    Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
    My first through was sockie as well but it's so badly researched I don't think a sockie could do it this well.

    That said the first line looks highly suss.....



    If you have no LTD who is the contract with?

    Smells very fishy.

    Perhaps i should get my coat...

    The contract is between my previous umbrella company and the end client. I no longer wish to use an umbrella company so am setting up a ltd company.

    Leave a comment:


  • MyUserName
    replied
    Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
    If you have no LTD who is the contract with?

    Smells very fishy.
    Yeah that is what I thought. I just cannot believe that neither the agency or the accountant would not have mentioned anything about having a Ltd or brolly.

    Also, no business bank account several weeks after the contract start date?

    Leave a comment:


  • oscarose
    replied
    I'd go for a brolly old boy.

    And a warm welcome

    Leave a comment:

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