Reply to: Crap interviews

[Cliphead]

Interviewed for a six month gig with an insurance company by some HR spanner. Found out from the pimp I didn't get it because I didn't have Winzip on my CV

[RSoles]

I interviewed a bloke in the eighties who 'got through' his life.

Boring as ****, when asked to ' tell us about yourself' he came up with the list:-

"well, I did my 'O' levels, got through those, 'a' levels, got through those, did an HNC, got through that........'

eventually, there was a door on the way out, he got through it too..........

[DallasDad]

I had a moment of Madness
1988 I was considering doing something other than Avionics so applied for some kind of Horticultural role with Rentokil Tropical Plants at least I think that's what they were called. No idea what they or I was expecting from it but I went anyway - at least it got that out of my system.

Early Nineties I worked for Kalamazoo - they took me to a client and introduced me as the clients new Netware Admin.
Client asked lots of questions I blagged it, I had never even heard of Netware before that day! After the meeting my knee accidentally planted itself in the groin of the Kalamazoo Salesman.

I got the role though and that set me up very well for the future. who remembers Zen Works?

Later mid nineties, when I was working For Andersen Consulting (so before AA went in to mass shredding as a side line) I was after a Hyperion Admin.
Short supply in the UK apparently - Agencies couldn't come up with anyone, I flew to Dublin to meet a couple of likely candidates, they got the beers in pretty pronto so the interview didn't last long, I took them both on it wasn't worth messing about choosing, and to be absolutely honest I couldn't understand every other word they were saying anyway

[woohoo]

Years ago and long story but ended up interviewing a guy provided by the job center for a programming job.

He brought his lunch in a supermarket bag placed on his lap, could barely speak, despite what it said on his CV he hadn't completed a degree. Felt a bit sorry for him as he was obviously a bit special and looked like a vagrant. Reception staff pissing themselves though as they thought he was a homeless guy.

Gave him some advice and sent him on his way.

Was going to make a job about him probably being SAS or something but stopped myself as a bit obvious - we all know who are the special people on this forum.

[The_Equalizer]

I imagine the answer they were looking for was "a trader working at a desk for an American bank"

I find it hard to lie.

[OwlHoot]

"If you could do anything in the world what would it be?"

For a job on a trading desk with an American bank. Still no idea what the interviewer was trying to get at.

I imagine the answer they were looking for was "a trader working at a desk for an American bank"

[MrMarkyMark]

I've had a job offer after every single interview I've done with the exception of three. All three were telephone/Skype interviews with Indian agencies who asked ******* stupid questions which irritated the hell out of me.

In one I just went all in and had a full on row with them about how wrong they were. Didn't get the job, though!

Funnily enough I had a debate in an interview where I did get the job - but they were good guys and it was a more polite, gentlemanly debate. I was still right, though.

Sounds a little familiar to me

[vwdan]

I've had a job offer after every single interview I've done with the exception of three. All three were telephone/Skype interviews with Indian agencies who asked ******* stupid questions which irritated the hell out of me.

In one I just went all in and had a full on row with them about how wrong they were. Didn't get the job, though!

Funnily enough I had a debate in an interview where I did get the job - but they were good guys and it was a more polite, gentlemanly debate. I was still right, though.

[quackhandle]

No follies of youth type interviews? Chances you failed to make the most of, or ones you should have ended up on your back on at the outset?

FTF NLadyUK.

qh

[VectraMan]

I interviewed someone in 1989. An hour interview. The idea was a 2 minute introduction. 20 minutes about them. 20 minutes about us. 18 minutes of general chat.

He had a 4 year CV and was still talking after 30 minutes. So I decided to let him carry on. After 1 hour I cut him off.

Apparently his last interview he was told he did not talk enough.

I once interviewed someone who wouldn't talk. He gave one word answers to everything, and despite me and my colleague trying really hard to think of things to say we only managed to drag the interview out to an embarassing 10 minutes.

But he got the job. It was programming and he got all the technical stuff right, and talking wasn't a big requirement so we gave him a chance and he turned out to be pretty good and stayed a couple of years.

I'm not sure I've had any crap ones myself. I remember being asked "tell us something unusual about yourself" and I just couldn't think of a single thing to say. I could have made up anything but my mind was totally blank.

[northernladyuk]

"If you would compare yourself to a car, what make and model would it be, and why"

that was after 2 telephone interviews, and they had called me in for a face to face, then decided I wasn't what they were looking for...

Mercedes E Class Estate, so I could fit your missus in for a good seeing to.

[Pherlopolus]

"If you could do anything in the world what would it be?"

For a job on a trading desk with an American bank. Still no idea what the interviewer was trying to get at.

Be an Eccentric Millionaire is my stock answer

[Willapp]

Ironically the only unsuccessful interview I've ever had was the one that lead me into contracting, a career path that I'd never previously considered.

At the time I was tech director of a small IT firm and fed up with the owner's cavalier attitude towards, well, everything really. Went for an interview at another firm for a Lead Dev-type role (on paper a step down but in reality a very similar role). Was interviewed by their tech director who basically said I was over-qualified for the role and with my skills/experience why wasn't I contracting. Didn't get the gig but then managed to get a contract role through some local connections and never looked back!

[The_Equalizer]

"If you would compare yourself to a car, what make and model would it be, and why"

that was after 2 telephone interviews, and they had called me in for a face to face, then decided I wasn't what they were looking for...

"If you could do anything in the world what would it be?"

For a job on a trading desk with an American bank. Still no idea what the interviewer was trying to get at.

[Pherlopolus]

"If you would compare yourself to a car, what make and model would it be, and why"

that was after 2 telephone interviews, and they had called me in for a face to face, then decided I wasn't what they were looking for...