Help - I've severed an artery

[greenlake]

DimPrawn
Last Activity Today 17:13

Anyone worried that he might be lying unconscious in a pool of his own blood?

No? As you were then.

He's fine. He's already back on his bike....

[mudskipper]

DimPrawn
Last Activity Today 17:13

Anyone worried that he might be lying unconscious in a pool of his own blood?

No? As you were then.

[BrilloPad]

Ask your butler to sew it up for you.

[EternalOptimist]

Put a big hat on and some make-up. Then go round making hilariously funny jokes about the 'Texas chainsaw mascara'

[MarillionFan]

You'll have to wash the blood & flesh off first mind, or it won't cut proper like.

And who's going to clean his keyboard?

[mudskipper]

Better safe than sorry. You need a tourniquet. Round your neck.

[Scruff]

Can I please have the chainsaw? Got a tree that needs felling.

[NotAllThere]

WWDD*?




*What Would Diver Do?

[MarillionFan]

Atw. One bedroomed bedsit coming up form sale

[SueEllen]

Are you dead yet?

[TykeMerc]

Where's the poll? Don't forget it's not valid without a proper AndyW option.

[barrydidit]

A real man would get a beer and lean on the fence discussing the situation with the neighbour.

[DimPrawn]

Was just using a chainsaw, and I've severed my femoral artery.

Should I apply pressure to stem the incredible blood loss or try and phone 999?