How to get a shag

[MaryPoppins]

Wear a full suit of polished plate armour
Win medieval combat tournaments

If you want women throwing themselves at you in groups - win jousting tournaments.

Um. Rightio!

[Paddy]

In my experience of course...

Play;

Spanish guitar
Hyperspeed tenor banjo
Bluegrass mandolin (marginal)
Whatever current smoochie hit on guitar

........

Bulgari Aqua
Chanel Anteus
Write her a tune
Have it performed by a major orchestra
Find it quickly and well...

Cook
Wash up
Pay for everything
Loads more

Add yer own...

AMEX at the Thai massage parlour

[MyUserName]

Wear a full suit of polished plate armour
Win medieval combat tournaments

If you want women throwing themselves at you in groups - win jousting tournaments.

[EternalOptimist]

just listening to MaltLoaf

he's like meatloaf. but a bit more fruity

[EternalOptimist]

Listen Clippers, Jimi Hendrix* could whop his guitar out after a meal at the Harvester and I'd still tell him oi, Hendrix - no.

*alive Jim

may your hands always be busy
may your feet always be swift
...
may you stay, forever young

[Cliphead]

Listen Clippers, Jimi Hendrix* could whop his guitar out after a meal at the Harvester and I'd still tell him oi, Hendrix - no.

*alive Jim

One bad (Jimmi), The Experience...

[MaryPoppins]

Of course you've never been in the company of a professional

Listen Clippers, Jimi Hendrix* could whop his guitar out after a meal at the Harvester and I'd still tell him oi, Hendrix - no.

*alive Jim

[MarillionFan]

I find that just being good looking, ripped and with a huge cock works just fine thanks.

[EternalOptimist]

A tangent here.


When I was a lad, it quickly became apparent that the birds had something. The blokes would try every trick in the book to get it off them. get them pissed, flattery, pay them , etc

Now I am pretty sure, that in other times and places, it has been the other way around, and birds were hot in persuit of the fells.


why the fck oh lord, have you condemned me to live here and now ?

[Cliphead]

Of course you've never been in the company of a professional