Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Warty's lady friend said he was the only one she'd slept with. All the others have been 8's or 9's.

[vetran]

Know religion, no peace.

No religion, know peace.

[vetran]

Bought a slow cooker..
It took me 2 hours to get it out of the box..

[WTFH]

“How much to hire a church singing group?”

“You mean a choir?”

“Fine, how much to acquire a church singing group?”

[WTFH]

“I bought a sheep dog.”


“Old English?”



“Ic gebóhtede sċēap docgaan.”

[WTFH]

Just cancelled my gym membership because the only piece of equipment I use has been taken away.




Anyone know where I can buy a cheap vending machine?

[WTFH]

I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper so tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.



I’m now sitting in A&E waiting to see a cardyologist.

[vetran]

'...Do dentists call their x-rays

Tooth pics?'

[WTFH]

Look, I’m all for women’s lib and all that political correctness crap, but when is MEN’s football coming home?

[WTFH]

The "CAP" in "Energy Price Cap" is about as much use as the "CONTROL" in "Take Back Control"