Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Never ask a dominatrix to make you a sandwich, they'll quickly make you a sub instead.

[vetran]

My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took
it to the vets . He found that the problem was hair in the dog's
ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then
proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring,
she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in
the dog's ears once a month.
My wife went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the
register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your
arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
My wife said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion
for a couple of days."
My wife replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm
using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist says, "Well, stay off your bike for about a week.

[NotAllThere]

Charles 1 was the Caroline era. Charles 2 the Carolean era. Will Charles 3 preside over the Carolyn era (in accordance with organic chemistry principles)?

It could even be the Sweet Carolyn era if it's especially good.

[vetran]

I've decided to go somewhere quiet and not live in the fast lane.

Anyway, the cops said I couldn't park my caravan on the motorway.

[vetran]

Its only 2 more prime ministers until Christmas!

[vetran]

If you applied for a job as a dominatrix will they thank you for your submission?

[vetran]

I'm absolutely knackered from my French self-defence class last night....

I've never run so fast in all my life.

[vetran]

Tonight, when Kurt Zouma got taken out by Spurs and was lying on the grass, did anyone else think that he looked like a big pussy?

[Paddy]

The local undertakers football team is having a terrible season


They're just not getting bodies into the box.

They played a game against their customers last week but lost due to stiff opposition.

[WTFH]

The local undertakers football team is having a terrible season


They're just not getting bodies into the box.