Rant about my ex wife

[AlfredJPruffock]

My Wife
Is After me


murdered in cold blood is what I'm gonna be

I ain't been home since Friday night
And now my wife -

is coming after me

Give me police protection
Gonna buy a gun so
I can look after number one

Give me a bodyguard
A black belt Judo expert with a machine gun

Gonna buy a tank and an aeroplane
When she catches up with me
Won't be no time to explain

She thinks I've been with another woman
And that's enough to send her half insane
Gonna buy a fast car


Put on my lead boots
And take a long, long drive
I may end up spending all my money
But I'll still be alive

All I did was have a wee bit too much to drink
And I picked the wrong precinct Got picked up by the law
And now I ain't got time to think


Gonna buy a tank and an aeroplane
When she catches up with me
Won't be no time to explain

She thinks I've been with another woman
And that's enough to send her half insane

Gonna buy a fast car
Put on my lead boots
And take a long, long drive

I may end up spending all my money
But I'll still be alive

And I'm oh so tired of running
Gonna lay down on the floor

I gotta rest some time so
I can get to run some more

She's comin'!
She's comin'!

[Platypus]

rumblings in your underpants

Don't I remember you getting into a situation due to rumblings in your underpants recently?

"Let he who is without rumblings cast the first stone" as the good book says.

[Bagpuss]

Don't I remember you getting into a situation due to rumblings in your underpants recently?

"Let he who is without rumblings cast the first stone" as the good book says.

Trust me they weren't a rumblin' when I saw the evidence

Plus no money was extracted. Infact I'd want it credited.

[Platypus]

Trust me they weren't a rumblin' when I saw the evidence

I don't recall you saying (before) if she was a munter or a babe.

So, you're saying, that not everyone looks like their avatar?

[Churchill]

I don't recall you saying (before) if she was a munter or a babe.

So, you're saying, that not everyone looks like their avatar?

I did. But I've just had a shave!

[Platypus]

Location: On the rug licking my balls.

I never noticed that before

[Skillo]

I like your posts BP - stalwart as you are.

Personally not in IT, can barely use a PC, but enjoy the accounting section greatly.

Whatever happened to Helen at MP she seemed to clam up, must have moved to Uruguay.!

[BrilloPad]

I like your posts BP - stalwart as you are.

Personally not in IT, can barely use a PC, but enjoy the accounting section greatly.

Whatever happened to Helen at MP she seemed to clam up, must have moved to Uruguay.!

Thats odd as most here think I am a nutter! Or are you my sockpuppet?

But why ask that question on this thread?

Helen made a great post recently - was very useful. If she would just not except EVERYTHING HMRC say as gospel all would be fine.....