Originally posted by TheFaqqer
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But that costs lots of money. It would be cheaper to mail order them some propane, nails, petrol and a copy of the Koran and then tip off the police....
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This is hilarious!!! LOL LOL LOLOriginally posted by Ardesco View PostAn envelope full of talc is always good for lots of fun. Is it poison? is it Anthrax? Are the police going to get an anonymous tip off that the agents are buying mail order coke/heroin that is going to be delivered that morning....
I am trying to keep a straight face at work... still trying...Comment
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Just name & shame - that'll work.Comment
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Name and Shame you have justified your reason for naming and shaming so come on lets be having the name.....not enough naming and shaming happening on this forum.Thats the way the cookie crumblesComment
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If you opt for the dog doo in a jiffy bag, make sure you cover it in those polystyrene packing pieces. They are more likley to put their hand deep into the envelope.Comment
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If its a bloke, send a seriously large package with stacks and stacks of gay porn. Make it big enough to warrant enough attention around him when opening.
Attach sweet note about what you two get up to in the dark hours. Follow up by sending a love letter every day, differ the envelope etc to make him suspicious of all mail.
At the same time Photoshop some gay porn onto a number of cards with his number on it. Stick in every phone box you can find, esp in certain areas of town where you know they will be appreciated.
If you time this right, a week after huge stack of porn and love letters he will start getting calls. Being an agent he will pick every one of them up …..
"Wait, I still function!"Comment
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Just noticed that the majority of this post was done in July"Wait, I still function!"Comment
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Plod 1: "Hmm this cocaine smells like imperial leather..."Originally posted by Ardesco View PostAn envelope full of talc is always good for lots of fun. Is it poison? is it Anthrax? Are the police going to get an anonymous tip off that the agents are buying mail order coke/heroin that is going to be delivered that morning....
Plod 2: "Don't worry gov, they're clean""Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny. "
Thomas JeffersonComment
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Never mind all the faeces. If you really have niche skills...
Phone the agent, give a false name and disguise your voice (or get someone else to do the talking), and pretend you are calling from a major blue chip.
As Mr Blue Chip, say you need two people urgently with your niche skills, to interview the next working day. Imply it will mean top dollars for the agency, and probably more requirements in the near future.
The agent will then call you about your availability, apologising for "the mix up" before (they do this - they have no shame), and desperately try to get you to an interview.
Leap at the chance, and agree to get back after the interview to say how it went.
Never speak to the agent again.Comment
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I wonder what Dodgy will make of all this, when he gets back from selling arms, or whatever he's up to.Comment
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