• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

jesus

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    jesus

    An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar.

    The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before when suddenly the Irishman cried out:

    "My God! I know who that man is - its Jesus"!

    The others looked again, and sure enough it was Jesus himself sitting alone at a table.

    The Irishman calls out across the lounge: "Hey! Hey you! Are you
    Jesus"?

    Jesus looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head "yes I am Jesus" he says.

    Well, the Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him: "I'd like you to give Jesus over a pint of Guinness from me."

    The bartender pours Jesus a Guinness, Jesus looks over, raises his glass in thanks and drinks.

    Then the Australian calls out: "Oi You! D'ya reckon you're Jesus or what?"

    Jesus nods his head and says "Yes I am Jesus".

    The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a pot of Fosters for Jesus which Jesus accepts with pleasure.

    The Scouser then calls out "Oi whack, would you be Jesus?"

    Jesus smiles and says "Yes I am Jesus".

    The Scouser beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint of
    bitter for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the table.

    Finally, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches our three friends.

    He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for
    The Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement.

    "Oh God! The arthritis is gone! The arthritis I've had for 40 years is gone! It's a miracle!!!!"

    Jesus then shakes the Australian's hand, thanking him for the lager.

    Upon letting go, the Australian's eyes widen in shock.

    "By jingo mate, the migraine! The migraine I've had for 10 years is completely gone - it's a miracle !!!!"

    Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says:


    "Back off mate! I'm on disability!"

Working...
X