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17th June 2008, 04:51
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#110541
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Fingers like lightning
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Zomerzet
Posts: 717
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Right, that's my bank transfers done.
I hate, hate, hate the Bank of Scotland's stupid security dongle. I feel like I have to be chained to the damn thing.
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17th June 2008, 05:20
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#110542
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Fingers like lightning
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Zomerzet
Posts: 717
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We were asked to fill in a form of memberships, qualifications, etc. so training could be worked out.
I asked about contractors - they said "everyone, then we know what skills we have in-house in total".
A PowerPoint went out including a slide with a summary of the results.
I couldn't read it so I downloaded it and emailed myself at home yesterday.
I've just gone to have a look at it. Go to the slide, click on the tiny bar chart and ...
... you can open it in Excel and ...
... there's a bunch of tabs: "analysis", "training needs", "summary data", "graphs" and ...
... "raw data".
Everybody's answers in a table.
Oops.
I wonder how many laws would be broken if I were to publish everyone's answers on the intranet?
I think I'll just delete this and forget I ever saw it.
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17th June 2008, 06:02
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#110543
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Fingers like lightning
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Zomerzet
Posts: 717
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In a meeting last week I managed to say:
"By undertaking this prioritisation exercise we've been forced to wake up and smell the coffee, line our ducks up in a row, then run them up the flagpole to see which ones get saluted, with a view to efficiency-centric optimisation moving forward. Then we'll just need to cascade the helicopter view out to the business, engage our stakeholders and then we'll be galloping on up to a brighter future."
I spent all lunchtime thinking that up and rehearsing it.
To my utter dismay,the reaction was sage-like nodding of heads.
Frightening.
Feel free to try it out for yourselves.
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17th June 2008, 07:18
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#110544
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Fingers like lightning
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Zomerzet
Posts: 717
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17th June 2008, 07:21
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#110545
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doGlike
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: On the rug licking my balls.
Posts: 9,848
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RichardCranium
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Yeah baby!  
__________________
A dog with his paw firmly up the  of technology... I'm a <censored> legend!
Paternus Deus, Humana Fraternitas... All your oil are belong to my V8!
You understand a few of the words but when they're put together to construct a sentence, you're f**ked!
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17th June 2008, 07:33
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#110546
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Contractor Among Contractors
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,437
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Morning all 
Been off since Thursday, (Fridays off anyway, and took a sickie yesterday) so anything good happened?
Apparently my new permie is supposed to be a babe, so I await her arrival to see if the chaps were having me on or not. |
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17th June 2008, 07:37
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#110547
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Contractor Among Contractors
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: In my Happy Place, otherwise in Redditch
Posts: 1,895
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RichardCranium
"By undertaking this prioritisation exercise we've been forced to wake up and smell the coffee, line our ducks up in a row, then run them up the flagpole to see which ones get saluted, with a view to efficiency-centric optimisation moving forward. Then we'll just need to cascade the helicopter view out to the business, engage our stakeholders and then we'll be galloping on up to a brighter future."
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That is legendary. Can I make a request for the inclusion of "Blue Sky Thinking" in your next one please.
__________________
"My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything - even if you have no clue what you're doing" - Jessica Alba
Pot Noodle
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17th June 2008, 07:37
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#110548
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Contractor Among Contractors
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,437
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Quote:
Originally Posted by voodooflux
That is legendary. Can I make a request for "Blue Sky Thinking" in your next one please.
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Only if you can leverage your synergy and get into bed with them. |
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17th June 2008, 07:42
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#110549
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Contractor Among Contractors
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: In my Happy Place, otherwise in Redditch
Posts: 1,895
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheBigYinJames
Only if you can leverage your synergy and get into bed with them.
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I'd need a workshop (subject to bandwidth) so that I could hit the ground running, not spin my wheels and ensure that I was adding value.
__________________
"My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything - even if you have no clue what you're doing" - Jessica Alba
Pot Noodle
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17th June 2008, 07:43
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#110550
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Contractor Among Contractors
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,244
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Morning all  |
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