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  1. #5871

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    Quote Originally Posted by WTFH View Post
    Mrs BP: You only ever want sex when you're drunk!

    BP: Not true. Sometimes I want a kebab.
    She only ever wants sex with me after rohypnol

  2. #5872

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    Quote Originally Posted by BrilloPad View Post
    She only ever wants sex with me after rohypnol
    How does she get you to take it?
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  3. #5873

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    Quote Originally Posted by WTFH View Post
    How does she get you to take it?
    I lick it out of the cat bowl. While wearing the hyena suit.

  4. #5874

    TykeLike

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    Why did Elon Musk name his company SpaceX?

    Because if it was called SpaceY it would only ever head to Uranus
    “Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”

    ― Marcus Aurelius

  5. #5875

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    BrilloPad came home early on Friday to find a naked man in the wardrobe.

    "Just our luck," he said to his wife, "to move into a neighbourhood of sleepwalkers."
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  6. #5876

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    What's the difference between graphite and lead?

    Daily Mail readers aren't easily graphite.
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  7. #5877

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    My PM told me that there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.

    I said, "that's great, I have a serious drinking opportunity"
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  8. #5878

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    I went to a cannibal restaurant last night, it wasn't cheap either.... £50 a head.
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  9. #5879

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    BrilloPad's 4th wife complained that he never gave 100%.

    That changed after she got her divorce lawyers involved.
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  10. #5880

    More time posting than coding

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    I bought my wife some of that "volume control" shampoo........doesn't work though, I can still ******* hear her.
    Join Big Group - don't let them get away with it
    http://www.wttbiggroup.co.uk/

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