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  1. #5191

    Suffers Fools...Badly!

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    I got sacked from PC World today.
    A guy came in the store and asked me what was the best thing for finding your ancestors.
    I said “Probably a shovel.”
    “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits!"

  2. #5192

    Suffers Fools...Badly!

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    APPLE. Break into the lucrative pirate market by developing the iPatch.
    “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits!"

  3. #5193

    キツネの帽子をかぶる

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    Go to O'Reilly's Auto Parts
    Home Page | O'Reilly Auto Parts


    Search for item 121G
    0. Absolute Power corrupts absolutely. Moderator Power corrupts moderately.
    1. I have a low tolerance level for idiots.
    2. You have to earn my respect, demanding it won't work.

  4. #5194

    Godlike


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    Why did Tigger put his head down the toilet?

    He was looking for Pooh.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

  5. #5195

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    What's red, six inches long, three inches wide and gets women excited?
    A £50 note.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

  6. #5196

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    I was over in Iraq visiting my friend Ali and noticed that his wife now walked ten yards ahead of him instead of ten yards behind him. Remarking on this, I suggested to Ali that women's rights had come a long way since Saddam's departure for women to now be walking ahead of men. Ali shrugged, smiled and said, "Women's rights? Ah, no my friend, it's Tony Blair's f***ing land mines."
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

  7. #5197

    Suffers Fools...Badly!

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    Nicola Sturgeon is touring Perthshire in the First Minister's chauffeur driven car.

    Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
    Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur : " You get out and check - you were driving."

    The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. " You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, I can't afford to be blamed for anything.
    The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face.

    "My God, what happened to you ?" asks Nicola.

    The chauffeur replies : " When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap up meal and the daughter made love to me."

    "What on earth did you say?" asks Nicola.
    I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them, I'm Nicola Sturgeon's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."
    “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits!"

  8. #5198

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    What does a scouser get his son for his birthday?
    Your son's bike.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

  9. #5199

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    What's the difference between Tony Blair and a mosquito?

    One's a life-sucking parasite responsible for the death of thousands. The other is a tropical insect.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

  10. #5200

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    If a paranoid schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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