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  1. #5171

    I live on CUK

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    I am trying to get some sleep. It's 2am and the woman next door is making a terrible racket.

    If she won't shut up I might even take her advice and call the police.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  2. #5172

    I live on CUK

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    What do you call a homosexual Russian knight?

    Sergei.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  3. #5173

    I live on CUK

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    Default One for Xoggy substitute Ass for breasts

    A man sees a lady with big breasts.

    He asks, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?"

    He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  4. #5174

    I live on CUK

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    Default Mirror Mirror

    Mirror mirror on the wall
    Who's the fairest of them all
    The mirror sighed and gave a grunt
    And said "not you, you ugly cwnt"
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  5. #5175

    I live on CUK

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    Default One for MP

    I once went on a date with a girl who didn't swallow.

    Soup everywhere.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  6. #5176

    Banned

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    I got sacked from PC World today.
    A guy came in the store and asked me what was the best thing for finding your ancestors.
    I said “Probably a shovel.”

  7. #5177

    Banned

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    APPLE. Break into the lucrative pirate market by developing the iPatch.

  8. #5178

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    Go to O'Reilly's Auto Parts
    Home Page | O'Reilly Auto Parts


    Search for item 121G
    Strong and Stable Moderation

  9. #5179

    Godlike


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    Why did Tigger put his head down the toilet?

    He was looking for Pooh.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

  10. #5180

    Godlike


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    What's red, six inches long, three inches wide and gets women excited?
    A £50 note.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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