+ Reply to Thread
Page 518 of 555 FirstFirst ... 18 418 468 508 516 517 518 519 520 528 ... LastLast
Posts 5,171 to 5,180 of 5549
  1. #5171

    I live on CUK

    vetran's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Come Friendly Bombs
    Posts
    25,182
    Thanks (Given)
    591
    Thanks (Received)
    2225
    Likes (Given)
    5449
    Likes (Received)
    4757

    Default

    I am trying to get some sleep. It's 2am and the woman next door is making a terrible racket.

    If she won't shut up I might even take her advice and call the police.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  2. #5172

    I live on CUK

    vetran's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Come Friendly Bombs
    Posts
    25,182
    Thanks (Given)
    591
    Thanks (Received)
    2225
    Likes (Given)
    5449
    Likes (Received)
    4757

    Default

    What do you call a homosexual Russian knight?

    Sergei.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  3. #5173

    I live on CUK

    vetran's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Come Friendly Bombs
    Posts
    25,182
    Thanks (Given)
    591
    Thanks (Received)
    2225
    Likes (Given)
    5449
    Likes (Received)
    4757

    Default One for Xoggy substitute Ass for breasts

    A man sees a lady with big breasts.

    He asks, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?"

    He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  4. #5174

    I live on CUK

    vetran's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Come Friendly Bombs
    Posts
    25,182
    Thanks (Given)
    591
    Thanks (Received)
    2225
    Likes (Given)
    5449
    Likes (Received)
    4757

    Default Mirror Mirror

    Mirror mirror on the wall
    Who's the fairest of them all
    The mirror sighed and gave a grunt
    And said "not you, you ugly cwnt"
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  5. #5175

    I live on CUK

    vetran's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Come Friendly Bombs
    Posts
    25,182
    Thanks (Given)
    591
    Thanks (Received)
    2225
    Likes (Given)
    5449
    Likes (Received)
    4757

    Default One for MP

    I once went on a date with a girl who didn't swallow.

    Soup everywhere.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  6. #5176

    Suffers Fools...Badly!

    shaunbhoy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    South Devon
    Posts
    24,714
    Thanks (Given)
    2315
    Thanks (Received)
    3801
    Likes (Given)
    2817
    Likes (Received)
    4820

    Default

    I got sacked from PC World today.
    A guy came in the store and asked me what was the best thing for finding your ancestors.
    I said “Probably a shovel.”
    “I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot, he'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with."

  7. #5177

    Suffers Fools...Badly!

    shaunbhoy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    South Devon
    Posts
    24,714
    Thanks (Given)
    2315
    Thanks (Received)
    3801
    Likes (Given)
    2817
    Likes (Received)
    4820

    Default

    APPLE. Break into the lucrative pirate market by developing the iPatch.
    “I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot, he'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with."

  8. #5178

    キツネの帽子をかぶる

    WTFH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    7,358
    Thanks (Given)
    7
    Thanks (Received)
    766
    Likes (Given)
    701
    Likes (Received)
    2518

    Default

    Go to O'Reilly's Auto Parts
    Home Page | O'Reilly Auto Parts


    Search for item 121G
    0. Absolute Power corrupts absolutely. Moderator Power corrupts moderately.
    1. I have a low tolerance level for idiots.
    2. You have to earn my respect, demanding it won't work.

  9. #5179

    Godlike


    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Non-Event Horizon
    Posts
    8,663
    Thanks (Given)
    329
    Thanks (Received)
    582
    Likes (Given)
    2200
    Likes (Received)
    2613

    Default

    Why did Tigger put his head down the toilet?

    He was looking for Pooh.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

  10. #5180

    Godlike


    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Non-Event Horizon
    Posts
    8,663
    Thanks (Given)
    329
    Thanks (Received)
    582
    Likes (Given)
    2200
    Likes (Received)
    2613

    Default

    What's red, six inches long, three inches wide and gets women excited?
    A £50 note.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

+ Reply to Thread
Page 518 of 555 FirstFirst ... 18 418 468 508 516 517 518 519 520 528 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.