Please put more jokes here
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  1. #5161

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    The missus has been missing a week now. Police said to
    prepare for the worst.
    So I have been down to the charity shop to get all of her clothes
    back.

  2. #5162

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    My wife says she is an island off the Cornish coast. I keep telling her not to be so scilly.



    Yuu can thank radio 1 for that "joke"....

  3. #5163

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    Leftover nuts and bolts from IKEA flat-packs
    makes great confetti for RoboCop's wedding

  4. #5164

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    I've invented a new game, it's called "Quiet Tennis"
    It's pretty much the same as normal tennis, but without the racket.

  5. #5165

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    My missus dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled, "You're being charged with being good in bed..."
    After two minutes she said she was dropping the charge due to lack of evidence!!

  6. #5166

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    My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner...
    So I took the battery out of the smoke detector!

  7. #5167

    I live on CUK

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    I've decided to stop posting sexist jokes because women find them too complicated.


    & run
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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    I live on CUK

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    My doctor told me to take up an activity that gets me out of the pub.

    So I've started smoking.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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    I live on CUK

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    The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
    The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
    The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
    The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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    I live on CUK

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    I have CDO...

    It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order... as they should be.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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