• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

A silly thread

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #91
    Big cats

    From time to time one gets reports about panthers or other big cats being loose in the UK, as here. A chap I know says he saw one near here a couple of years back and he's certainly no idiot.

    Another report here even says that Leopards and Pumas may be breeding in the British countryside. (Lefties, have your epipen ready before clicking that link, it's The Daily Mail!)

    Gives me a great idea. I get so pissed off with going for a nice lounge in my garden and then some damn neighbour starts up his motor mower or strimmer. If I reported seeing a tiger nearby and faked a photo of it maybe I could get all those bar stewards to stay indoors and I could get some peace.
    Last edited by xoggoth; 4 June 2017, 19:35.
    bloggoth

    If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
    John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

    Comment


      #92
      Reading a thread in the main forum and SE mentioned Sky Fairies.

      We think we have a problem with religious extremism today but it's nothing compared to what will happen when it all kicks off between the believers in Sky Fairies and the believers in Flying Spaghetti Monsters.
      bloggoth

      If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
      John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

      Comment


        #93
        Political football

        Have played a bit in the past but I'm not interested in watching football.

        Just as well I'm not into football really, if I was manager there's no way I'd have a left winger in my team. It would have to have two right wingers.

        I daresay some leftist managers wouldn't want right wingers in their team and would have two left wingers. Matches between left and right wing teams would be pretty boring, they would just be running past each other unchallenged.

        A match between far left and far right teams would be even worse, the wingers would not even be on the pitch. What if a Nazi team played a communist team? The wingers would not be inside the stadium. If somebody passed the ball to them they would have to pay at the gates to get back in before they could receive it.
        bloggoth

        If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
        John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

        Comment


          #94
          Football ain't what it used to be

          Football is not what it used to be according to Wikipedia:

          The skill of dribbling the ball is seen much less in modern football matches than in the first half of the twentieth century. This observation is often noted with regret by fans of the game who were familiar with older styles
          We can easily address that problem. Stop this ageism of having all these young fit players! If there were more senile old codgers playing we would have a lot more dribbling!
          bloggoth

          If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
          John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

          Comment


            #95
            Think it was good old Shakespeare that invented the phrase "The Bowels of the Earth". So if the Earth has bowels, what does that make a volcano?

            Maybe Boots has something to prevent these occasional natural disasters.
            bloggoth

            If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
            John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

            Comment


              #96
              As I said earlier I often scribble down ideas for stories or blog posts and then can't read them. Trouble is, even when I can read them, I can't see what I had in mind, like this one:

              Cereal cheese torch battery thread cream

              Any ideas?

              Oh hang on, that's my shopping list!
              bloggoth

              If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
              John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

              Comment


                #97
                Keep calm

                We stand together
                We will never give in to terror
                We will not be cowed by terrorism
                We will overcome it
                We will prevail by being strong and smart, resilient and relentless
                We will not be cowed by terrorism (you just said that)
                Peace and love will prevail



                Well said froggy!
                bloggoth

                If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
                John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

                Comment


                  #98
                  Originally posted by xoggoth View Post
                  You could have caused me to blow my brains out BP!
                  At least you would still be less cretinous than assguru.

                  Comment


                    #99
                    Originally posted by xoggoth View Post
                    I daresay some leftist managers wouldn't want right wingers in their team and would have two left wingers. Matches between left and right wing teams would be pretty boring, they would just be running past each other unchallenged.

                    I'm not interested in football, but is it not the case that your right is my left?

                    In other similar logic, someone pointed out to me that a clock's hands actually turn anti-clockwise.

                    Comment


                      but is it not the case that your right is my left?
                      Logic is not permitted in this thread, especially from somebody who clearly has all her clocks facing the wall! Ban please admin!

                      Although it is very inclusive of you to see things from a clock's viewpoint. I can see my monitor is wondering why I keep typing backwards.
                      bloggoth

                      If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
                      John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X