Coping with a baby
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    Default Coping with a baby

    Mine is 11 months now, gets sick a lot, probably slept through the night twice in 11 months, last 5 weeks have been the worse literally me and the misses get a few hrs broken sleep at night max and he isn't really sick at the moment just a bit of a cold, has started nursery a month back so explains the extra illness. He stayed at his nans on Sat night and I feel bad saying it but I didn't miss him and dreaded him coming home, I could sense the same from my misses, I feel so guilty, we do love him and we are not bad parents but literally now we feel like we are breaking point I dread going home in the eve. How the hell have others coped with a kid as I can't believe that people would ever have more than 1 if what we are going through is the norm ?

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    My kids are 16 and 20 and we haven't killed either of them yet. I had to take my son off my wife one night when he was a baby because she'd started growling at him though.

    It's not easy and apparently the biggest change you'd notice isn't from 1 to 2, but from 2 to 3 kids. Fortunately that's not going to happen for us and once of the ickle parasites has a part time job already. There's a lot to be said for condoms.

    In terms of work, my missus stayed at home until the youngest was in school - we struggled financially a bit but she did Sunday - Thursday night feeds and I did Friday and Saturday nights. Made things better for us.
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    It does get better. It's easy for others to say that, and it might seem hard to believe, but it does. My advice is to grab sleep whenever you can, if that means using grandparents then so be it.

    My youngest didn't sleep for the first nine months, we were at breaking point but eventually she settled down. She's now 17 and studying for her A levels, so all that seems a long way off.

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    Your response is perfectly normal. Well done for getting this far. The first year is hell. It'll get better after the 12 month mark.

    Sleep deprivation is the worst. I tried to take sleep by going to bed as early as possible. Yes even if that meant 7pm.

    Try and not keep their room so hot. Feed them as much as you can before going to bed yourself. They're only want for food. The more food in belly, the better change your sleep will be undisrupted.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoggyMcCBoggyFace View Post
    Mine is 11 months now, gets sick a lot, probably slept through the night twice in 11 months, last 5 weeks have been the worse literally me and the misses get a few hrs broken sleep at night max and he isn't really sick at the moment just a bit of a cold, has started nursery a month back so explains the extra illness. He stayed at his nans on Sat night and I feel bad saying it but I didn't miss him and dreaded him coming home, I could sense the same from my misses, I feel so guilty, we do love him and we are not bad parents but literally now we feel like we are breaking point I dread going home in the eve. How the hell have others coped with a kid as I can't believe that people would ever have more than 1 if what we are going through is the norm ?
    Well me n the missus worked it by her going to bed about 8 - so me looking after child from 8 to about 12 - when I would do a feed. Kid wakes up at 4-5 am - by which time missus had had 6-7 hours kip and so she would feed child maybe stay up or maybe get some more kip. I would then be up about 8 sort kid out take to nursery go to work.

    The main issue was that me n the missus did not really see each other during the week - but that is just one of the joys pf parenting

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    You ain't bad parents you're just tired (you never think straight with severe fatigue) and you needed a break.

    As others have said, it does get better and the feeding tip is a good one.

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    How many moments are there that you enjoy with your child?

    From memory, I think I enjoyed it 90% of the time. The other 10% was hard work. I am sure that some of the bad times are forgotten.

    Children are very hard work. Also, they have to be taught how to sleep. In the womb, rocking sends them to sleep. So they sleep in the day, awake at night. That routine continues. You have to switch it round. The important thing is routine, then change it gradually. Gina Ford is very good at this - though I disagree with her on crying babies. Crying babies should always be attended to. They should have no eye contact or attention from 7pm to 7am. At 7am they should be dressed, then stimulated.

    Baby bp refused healthy food aged 12 months. Mrs bp thought he would starve, so fed him junk. He still struggles to eat healthy food!

    You and your wife need a serious discussion on this. Then you need a few nights break - then start the new regime. Can Nan look after him for a few days? Any other relatives who can help?

    If you can't find anyone else, Mrs bp would love to look after him for a few days!
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    Got 4 - 10, 4 and twins at 2. Having young kids is really hard but it gets better. Bit by bit it will. But until then do the best you can to keep yourself sane. Go to sleep early, cut out on the nights out for a while, use family and friends.

    2 things that worked for me is having the wife doing nights Mon-Thur and me doing the rest. Also when he's sleeping through the night then give each other a lie in on the weekends.

    Good luck

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    Its not normal but it happens. Its not his fault, you may be doing it wrong. Read, ask questions of experts (how does he sleep at Nan's? Why?


    There are a number of tricks to cope.

    1. Tag team. Your wife is probably as knackered as you are. If she isn't working then take Friday & Saturday nights as your responsibility, if you are both working alternate nights. Let her get some sleep on the couch while you cope with little one in the bedroom. When you are both completely sleep deprived you will argue a lot! One of you do the early feeds, one does the night feeds as suggested above.

    2. Get relief - use your family & Friends to get a few hours off. Cuddle & Sleep!

    3. Don't expect to get as much done. You are probably driven but having a baby will slow you down, don't get upset realise its a gift.

    4. Don't blame him! He is gorgeous & beautiful its you that is screwing up fix it!
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    Quote Originally Posted by vetran View Post
    Its not normal but it happens. Its not his fault, you may be doing it wrong. Read, ask questions of experts (how does he sleep at Nan's? Why?


    There are a number of tricks to cope.

    1. Tag team. Your wife is probably as knackered as you are. If she isn't working then take Friday & Saturday nights as your responsibility, if you are both working alternate nights. Let her get some sleep on the couch while you cope with little one in the bedroom. When you are both completely sleep deprived you will argue a lot! One of you do the early feeds, one does the night feeds as suggested above.

    2. Get relief - use your family & Friends to get a few hours off. Cuddle & Sleep!

    3. Don't expect to get as much done. You are probably driven but having a baby will slow you down, don't get upset realise its a gift.

    4. Don't blame him! He is gorgeous & beautiful its you that is screwing up fix it!
    All of this was explained in the instruction manual.....
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