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  1. #1

    Fingers like lightning

    Pip in a Poke has more data than eek

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    Default Closed Roads and Cycles

    Ok, leave your prejudices behind and ponder this situation.

    You've just plunged 400 feet down the side of a very steep escarpment via a country lane that you turned onto some 5 miles back to come face to face with a sign announcing that the road is closed.

    To reach your destination, the only alternative route is to turn around and go back up that hill. Not an option since I'm knackered, it's getting dark and my fella is waiting for his noshi.

    So, you pedal onwards hoping that either it's one of those spurious road closed signs that one often encounters or that you and your cycle can squeeze past the works.

    Normally one of the two outcomes does indeed come to pass but not this time. My way was blocked by a jobsworth workman from hell. There was no way he was going to let me past.

    I needed a hard hat and hi viz jacket apparently and my cycling helmet and one piece yellow number didn't cut the mustard.

    I was absolutely apoplectic and got home to find my other half had gone up the Toby Carvery.

    You see, people say Nazi Germany could never happen here. I beg to differ- that works foreman would have been at the front of the queue to apply the electrodes to dissenters' genitals. And I'm guessing there's a few of you who'd agree with him and I dare say you'd also be marching round in brown shirts in a parallel universe.

    As an aside, why are there so many roadworks at this time of year? Are councils really doing it to use up their budgets or is that just a myth?

  2. #2

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    MrMarkyMark - scorchio!


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    Quote Originally Posted by Pip in a Poke View Post
    Ok, leave your prejudices behind and ponder this situation.

    You've just plunged 400 feet down the side of a very steep escarpment via a country lane that you turned onto some 5 miles back to come face to face with a sign announcing that the road is closed.

    To reach your destination, the only alternative route is to turn around and go back up that hill. Not an option since I'm knackered, it's getting dark and my fella is waiting for his noshi.

    So, you pedal onwards hoping that either it's one of those spurious road closed signs that one often encounters or that you and your cycle can squeeze past the works.

    Normally one of the two outcomes does indeed come to pass but not this time. My way was blocked by a jobsworth workman from hell. There was no way he was going to let me past.

    I needed a hard hat and hi viz jacket apparently and my cycling helmet and one piece yellow number didn't cut the mustard.

    I was absolutely apoplectic and got home to find my other half had gone up the Toby Carvery.

    You see, people say Nazi Germany could never happen here. I beg to differ- that works foreman would have been at the front of the queue to apply the electrodes to dissenters' genitals. And I'm guessing there's a few of you who'd agree with him and I dare say you'd also be marching round in brown shirts in a parallel universe.

    As an aside, why are there so many roadworks at this time of year? Are councils really doing it to use up their budgets or is that just a myth?
    TL;DR

    Maybe if you aren't around for "noshi" he can just have a w@nk instead.

    HTH.

  3. #3

    Fingers like lightning

    BigRed is a permanent contractor


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    Default

    I didn't think road closures normally applied to pedestrians and people pushing bikes are just that.

    Next time, ask to see a copy of the Road Closure Order, and its scope, should be held by the contractor/site manager for public inspection.
    Last edited by BigRed; 16th March 2017 at 20:36.

  4. #4

    I live on CUK

    vetran is a fount of knowledge

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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MrMarkyMark View Post
    TL;DR

    Maybe if you aren't around for "noshi" he can just have a w@nk instead.

    HTH.
    not at £100 a time !
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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    MrMarkyMark - scorchio!


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    Quote Originally Posted by vetran View Post
    not at £100 a time !
    If he charges himself £100 for a self inflicted money shot, surely everyone's a winner

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by MrMarkyMark View Post
    If he charges himself £100 for a self inflicted money shot, surely everyone's a winner
    Sounds like a tax avoiding expenses scam to me. Where is NLUK ????
    I swear on the wet head of my first case of gonorrhoea, there is his ugly voice that I forever fear...

  7. #7

    My post count is Majestic

    northernladuk is a fount of knowledge

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    Quote Originally Posted by TestMangler View Post
    Sounds like a tax avoiding expenses scam to me. Where is NLUK ????
    Sorry. Was busy earning myself 100 quid.
    'CUK forum personality of 2011' - Winner - Yes really!!!!

  8. #8

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    MrMarkyMark - scorchio!


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    Quote Originally Posted by northernladuk View Post
    Sorry. Was busy earning myself 100 quid.
    Young man.

    I hope you washed your hands

  9. #9

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    Default

    If the way was safe for pedestrians then you would have been allowed to pass walking on the path, as you were not, the way (I assume) was not safe; In which case the “jobsworth” was right.
    The area would have been deemed a construction site; which means you are under the construction companies insurance.

    Even if you had not had an incident you could of reported the site for putting you in a dangerous situation & sued. The outcome of which would be;
    Increased insurance premiums for the contractor
    The contractor would lose future works with the council (putting jobs at risk)
    The “jobsworth” would lose his job, possibly end up in prison (what would that do to his family)

    So stop being self-centred & think of the bigger picture, it’s been done for your safety.

    Why did you not call your other half to pick you up on the way to the Toby?


    Quote Originally Posted by Pip in a Poke View Post
    As an aside, why are there so many roadworks at this time of year? Are councils really doing it to use up their budgets or is that just a myth?
    Road works increase in spring as the winter weathering effects damages road surfaces, but the works have to wait until it warms up to be completed. (concrete curing is weather dependant)
    Growing old is mandatory
    Growing up is optional

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Halo Jones View Post
    If the way was safe for pedestrians then you would have been allowed to pass walking on the path, as you were not, the way (I assume) was not safe; In which case the “jobsworth” was right.
    The area would have been deemed a construction site; which means you are under the construction companies insurance.

    Even if you had not had an incident you could of reported the site for putting you in a dangerous situation & sued. The outcome of which would be;
    Increased insurance premiums for the contractor
    The contractor would lose future works with the council (putting jobs at risk)
    The “jobsworth” would lose his job, possibly end up in prison (what would that do to his family)

    So stop being self-centred & think of the bigger picture, it’s been done for your safety.

    Why did you not call your other half to pick you up on the way to the Toby?




    Road works increase in spring as the winter weathering effects damages road surfaces, but the works have to wait until it warms up to be completed. (concrete curing is weather dependant)

    Self centred!? Did you read my post??

    How about putting up signs at various junctures such that cyclists and pedestrians aren't forced to scale the north face of the Eiger in order to make a detour? I wouldn't have turned on to that lane in the first place had I known.

    Also how about providing signage that makes a distinction between roads closed to motor vehicles and roads closed to all traffic?

    Also, how about they stop putting up Road Closed signs when there are no works in progress and it's perfectly safe to pass? Because round here we just kick the cones over so we can get through.
    Last edited by Pip in a Poke; 17th March 2017 at 06:44.

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