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Breaking news from BBC Alba...

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    Breaking news from BBC Alba...

    Breaking news from our correspondent embedded with the Orcs mining pixie-dust and dreams for Yes scotland:
    Panic is beginning to spread through the ranks of pixie-dust miners here in the Clydebank pits as stocks of Unicorn horn run low. "We jist dinnae ken hoo we'll chip the bastard stuff oot withoot ain o'yon pointy sticks." said one tearful benefit dependent.
    Pixie-dust - the secret sauce that has blinded hoards of disgruntled, chippy jocks for the last two years according to Gordon Doom, the local purveyor of gold bricks - was thought to be inexhaustible so liberally had it been passed around at rallies of the faithful. But now, and with victory within touching distance, it could all just vanish into the scotch mist.
    "If only we'd held a wee bitty back for noo, we'd be a shoo-in.", said Nippy Sturgeon for Yestapo Govan, "I dinnae ken hoo we'll manage withoot it. We'll jist hae to shout louder... Com'on ye bastards, free a'thing for a'body!"
    It's all quite sad, as people rub the sand from their eyes they're beginning to wake up to the fact that Unicorns don't grow on trees, that someone, somewhere has to pay for something, and that 'Utopia' doesn't come wrapped in tartan, carrying shortbread, and whisky. Sadder still that most won't realise the conceit until it's too late.
    There's no going back now; forward unto freedoom brother!
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