OW! OW! OW!
I'm sitting down now, FFS - stop hurting me
When I worked for Age Concern visiting housebound people they would complain about the pain they experienced from arthritis.
I was in my twenties then, and although I could sympathise, it's only now that it's happening to me that I can empathise.
But of course they're all dead now (otherwise they'd be in the Guinness Book of Records) so all I can say is... I always believed you, and wished I could help you, and I'm sorry I couldn't help any more than medical science could. Still, I hope I cheered you up occasionally, even if I couldn't stop the pain.